Strength 3

For the sake of comparison we ended up with this one, and my God it has tested the review scale. There is no other word to describe this than disgusting - or possibly poison. It has the smell of a burnt out building and tastes as bad as eating the contents of an ashtray from a cigar smoker's convention. We couldn't finish it - in fact we could barely start it. One mouthful was enough to bring on an instant gagging reflex. The acrid aftertaste was so severe that even a cup of decent stuff to try and wash the taste away had no effect and it just dragged that down too. Avoid at all costs. Judges rating 0/10.

This kind of tells you that Taylor's extended "it goes up to 6" strength scale only really has 4 grades, as this is graded a 3 and there can't be anything weaker. It almost tastes like one of those perverted "hazlenut" concoctions - sickly and insipid. This should be reserved for young children and old ladies. The lowest judge rating so far - 3/10

Another cheap but good-un from Aldi. Its coarsely ground so you can’t really balls it up in your caffetiere – though of course this does mean that we couldn’t spoon it up too high – this one hasd a ceiling that we couldn't really get over. Not that it needs it – it's strong enough more or less however you make it. And it looks really inviting – a lovely pale brown crema on the surface that holds down the side of the cup to the bottom. Another perfectly respectable all day drinker from Aldi that you could serve at your dinbner party without being found out. We're only taking a point off for it not having any quirky flavours. 7/10

Sainsbury have gone for broke with a range of Taste The Difference coffees served in Illy-style tins. Not quite as sophisticated as the Illy tins, but better than a placcy bag.

The excitement was palpable when we pulled the ring pull on the top - expecting the Illy style rush of nitrogen and coffee mix exploding out of the tin. What a disappointment - even a half dead Nat after a night on the curry could displace more wind than came out of this tin. But it's a tasty little number this one - it frothed up nicely in our caffetiere and looked just plain appetising. They claim complex flavours - but we couldn't get them. But it is a nice tasting coffee - slightly more citrus than bitter and one that anyone could make, drink and love. Every cup we made came out the same - it's just impossible to cock this one up. There's two more coffees in this range - and to be honest we couldn't tell the difference between any of them. So buy 'em all - they're all cheap anyway!  8/10

We would always imagine an espresso blend to be strength 5 - yet this Brown Bear coffee is only a strength 3 - and it shows. Making it in the plunger resulted in no creamy head, that's for sure. Every cup came out the same - it's impossible to over do it. For us judges though it was lacking any novelty twists to the flavour - it's just plain straight coffee. In fact - it's pretty difficult to review - it's hard to think of a metaphor. You need something to hang your criticism or praise on - and this one just hasn't got any hooks. But it tastes fine enough and maybe deserves to be run through a high pressure Gaggia to get the most out of it. In the mean time its a 7/10

This had all the right blurb on the packet - tangerines and zesty for God's sake?! But us experienced judges know that there is no high altitude lime tasting coffee hailing from Sumatra. The first attempt was bitter and gritty - with no hints of the limes. It was also not even that strong which gave it a nasty aftertaste - which was even a bit too sickly creamy tasting initially. On the second attempt we spooned it up and made a strong 'un. The result was more drinkable - but had the horrible metallic aftertaste that you really don't want in your Taste The Difference. Unless the Difference they are talking about is the taste of dirty old copper pipe rescued from your old radiators hanging about behind the shed since you had your heating installed. Whatever - this stuff sucks and needs to be left on the shelf. Though I will finish the cup of it for politeness, I'll never be stupid enough to have it again. (4/10)

Despite all the bold claims on the back of the packet that this is "Bursting with delicious citrus notes" it's not quite true. OK it does have a lemony twang to it - but somehow it just tastes a bit cheap - like stirring a spoon of Lift into an averagely drinkable coffee. It's still nice enough, and the coffee taste hangs around in your mouth after you've glugged it. But in the end, the citrus twist just isn't enough to elevate this thing. Maybe it's because it's a strength 3 which us judges cannot cope with. If this had a bit more grunt, it'd be there. So, if you want a kiddie-level introduction to Kenyan Coffee, this one will probably do you well - it's rated a 12A, or a (6/10)

We've been going through a renaissance with the Grumpy Mules, which was mainly brought on by price - they were all so sodding expensive. Turns out though, it's just our local Deli that's ripping us off - there is no £8 packet of Mule out there in the real world - it's just a special price for us Mugs who he saw coming through his enormous Mug spotting windows. So, now were over that, we can just start enjoying it. This one is a case in point - it's fruity and punching above it's strength 3 rating. Every cup has come out good - it's a great beginners coffee - you just can't fuck this one up, even if you cant count up to the required 6 spoons you'll still be ok and your friends will love you. Slurp it down... and give us more Mules! Scores an 8/10 - only lost it bit from this Judge for the lack of ball crushing strength.

The first sip of this bodes well - it's tangy and citrus like, as we top Judges have come to expect for anything from a high altitude in that part of the world. But as you continue to sip, you really want this taste to build and build - but it doesn't. It just stays at the same level and as you get more used to it, you notice it even less, to the point where you feel like you're drinking hot water. I can only put this down to the strength 3 rating - this was never going to floor me like a couple of pool balls in a pair of tights. So, OK if you like week coffee. Otherwise, be a man and go out and get yourself something stronger - some Tanzanian Peaberry maybe. 6/10

The beans for this Mule are big and light - and smell divine. We almost ate them straight off the spoon. Now The folks at Grumpy Mule clearly state this is an all day, strength 3 coffee, which doesn't normally sit well with the Judges' sensibilities. But we're going to give it a go anyway. Brewing this up, the first thing apparent is the overwhelming smell of lemons. This isn't hint of citrus, this is a bleedin' fruit bowl. We don't mind a bit of high altitude lemon flavour here at Judge Towers, but this one is so lemon-like I'm not sure whether your average coffee drinking oik will drink it or do the washing up with it. We like it though - the only gripe being it's a bit too weak - even after spooning it up a notch. If you like a mellower coffee with a slightly odd taste, this is pretty good. Definitely one to serve your guests  - so they can all learn that "citrus notes" isn't complete coffee-bollocks-talk after all. 8/10