February 2012

This one's from Austria. We've had a few from there and, as cheapies, they've generally been better than French ones. This is a case in point - it IS drinkable - but there's just something slightly weird about it. It's very susceptible to getting the measures wrong - too much and it's liquid aluminum, too little and it's shallow and breathless. Just one glug of this and you know you are drinking "own brand", European coffee. For that shared chalet ski trip I think I'd buy this - it's passable - particularly because of the house-brick style doublele dose package - it's massive. But not for myself, no way. On the cusp then, 5/5.

This advertises two words we like to see: Peaberry and Tanzania. So we're getting quite excited by this one. As you bring this brewed cup up to your face you do get the slightly citrus waft, and on the first sip - you get it too. But from then on in this coffee is just too mild for me. It's lacking any real depth of taste - it's way too subtle. After the gulp, there's no powerful rasp down the back of your tongue - when it's gone, it's gone, and that's it. This is rated at strength 4 - so I did try and spoon it up a notch to try and ring a bit more out of it: don't try it. If you make this one too strong then it's going to ruin all of the subtleties and you make as well be drinking a cheapo Lavazza. This is a strength 3 and has been over-rated, that's all. For my taste then, just a 6/10.

This is not just Luxury Italian Coffee. It's fucking awful Luxury Italian Coffee. This one claims all sorts on the packet - but forgets to mention lack of flavour and all round general weedy-ness. This is only marginally better than instant - if someone offered it to you at their house you would be grateful that it least is was real coffee, but it wouldn't be worth the effort of making it yourself, you may as well spoon up a Nescafe and save yourself the bother - and disappointment. The final inch in the cup really sealed it - a bitter nasty mess. This Judge's summing up: starts disappointing, ends badly. Gets a 4/10.

These Morrison Coffees are always hard core killers, and this is no exception. We made this as normal and it was just way over the top. A bitter, filthy dirty brew. This could only be at home on a building site being drunk by hardened, crack-showing navvies who would probably even dunk a biscuit in it. The only way we could take it was to water it down a spoonful - but even then the first taste sends you reeling and staggering backwards. However - if you keep the faith, this one does improve as you go down the cup. I don't know how this works - maybe because your taste buds a being systematically stripped off and by the end, you just don't care. Who knows - but my head now feels a bit fuzzy and I'll rate it above the 5/10 "never buying it a again" watershed. Its a 6/10.