Sainsburys

For the sake of comparison we ended up with this one, and my God it has tested the review scale. There is no other word to describe this than disgusting - or possibly poison. It has the smell of a burnt out building and tastes as bad as eating the contents of an ashtray from a cigar smoker's convention. We couldn't finish it - in fact we could barely start it. One mouthful was enough to bring on an instant gagging reflex. The acrid aftertaste was so severe that even a cup of decent stuff to try and wash the taste away had no effect and it just dragged that down too. Avoid at all costs. Judges rating 0/10.

The Judges have been off line for a while...what with things going tits-up around the office on a daily basis there just hasn’t been time for anything other than a quick slurp between catastrophes - coupled with the fact that there's not much left to review out there. But we happened to be in Sainsbury's and realised we’d made a massive cock up and there was an off-the-shelf bean we hadn’t done. This one is grey – the beans look as old and dusty as John Major’s underpants. But not ones to shy away from a challenge, we ground it down and brewed it up. It’s easy to make – every cup came out the same – a decent, deep flavoured brew with no aftertaste. We didn’t get much crema on the top from our caffetiere – it was a flat and insipid looking cup – but the taste made up for it. But there’s nothing fancy – no flowers or lemons have been anywhere near this one – which we might have expected for a Taste The Difference premium bean. To be honest we would just stick with our favoured Sainsbury’s standard Italian which is just as good but cheaper. So one point off for cost - 7/10 for this one.

Sainsbury have gone for broke with a range of Taste The Difference coffees served in Illy-style tins. Not quite as sophisticated as the Illy tins, but better than a placcy bag.

The excitement was palpable when we pulled the ring pull on the top - expecting the Illy style rush of nitrogen and coffee mix exploding out of the tin. What a disappointment - even a half dead Nat after a night on the curry could displace more wind than came out of this tin. But it's a tasty little number this one - it frothed up nicely in our caffetiere and looked just plain appetising. They claim complex flavours - but we couldn't get them. But it is a nice tasting coffee - slightly more citrus than bitter and one that anyone could make, drink and love. Every cup we made came out the same - it's just impossible to cock this one up. There's two more coffees in this range - and to be honest we couldn't tell the difference between any of them. So buy 'em all - they're all cheap anyway!  8/10

This had all the right blurb on the packet - tangerines and zesty for God's sake?! But us experienced judges know that there is no high altitude lime tasting coffee hailing from Sumatra. The first attempt was bitter and gritty - with no hints of the limes. It was also not even that strong which gave it a nasty aftertaste - which was even a bit too sickly creamy tasting initially. On the second attempt we spooned it up and made a strong 'un. The result was more drinkable - but had the horrible metallic aftertaste that you really don't want in your Taste The Difference. Unless the Difference they are talking about is the taste of dirty old copper pipe rescued from your old radiators hanging about behind the shed since you had your heating installed. Whatever - this stuff sucks and needs to be left on the shelf. Though I will finish the cup of it for politeness, I'll never be stupid enough to have it again. (4/10)

This is exactly what you want from a strength 5 coffee - tons of flavour and a real caffeine hit - but you do need to treat it carefully. If you over do this one and spoon up one too many, you'll end up with a cigar-laden ash tray that no amount of sugar can bring back from the brink. So once you find your level with it - stick to it. Don't go thinking "Let's knock up a stronger one..." because you will regret it. We've found this one very useful too at beefing up some other weedier coffees - ones that we like the taste of but just dont quite have the fullness of flavour we're after. Adding one spoon of this ball crusher into the mix with your fragrant but weak Kenyan delicacy will really liven it up, without destroying the subtler flavours. Give it a go kids - it may be "own brand" but who gives a f*ck - it's a 9/10 from the Judge!

This one says "rich", "intense" and "strong" on the packet. And it's a strength 5. And they are right on all counts. This one will really wake you up in the morning - there is no getting away from the fact that THIS IS COFFEE. It's pretty damn bitter too - I had to keep adding sugar bit by bit until I could take it. But when you get it right, it's a fine old cup. There's no aftertaste and we happily had two in the day without having a stroke. Treat it carefully though - if you're not man enough, this one will floor you. (8/10)

As soon as you open this packet, the smell of top notch coffee just pours out all over you, even though it's a whole bean coffee and not even ground yet. Grinding it just amplifies the aroma - it's like the aromatic version of the Siren's song - once you smell this baby you would cross a barren desert for days just to track down the source. This one is easy to make too - you can throw in as much as you like, and it just gets better and better. You will never reach the point of a throat burner. And finally the taste - it's heaven. Yes, slightly citrussy, but now we are coffee drinking pros, we like that. Do your self a favour and get some. (10/10)

We've had this one a while and put off the making of it. Why? The packaging. My God it's dull. We want our coffees to draw us in with silvers and golds and feel all continental-like, but this one looks like a packet of grass seed. When we finally do crack it open, it does what it says on the tin. Smooth and mellow is right enough - there's a really punchy flavour without being too overpowering, and every time we've  made one it's come out trumps. I don't think you can get this one wrong - it would easily round off your cafetiere cock-ups and still deliver. Not quite strong enough for me - but then it's not meant to be. But one definitely to dish up at home after your dinner party with confidence that they'll all like it, and it will turn out ok. (8/10)

We were messed up here by having to siphon some of the brew off from the pot to dilute down for "a girl". Of course this threw out all our weights and measures which means we are comparing this unfairly with all the others. But my God this came out a right little belter - stronger than Geoff Capes and with more staying power than a Rutting Stag. We ended up with tons of powder in the cup though, giving a really dry finish - enough powder to start growing more coffee in. This has got to be down to the brewing - an own brander can't be this good can it? Rated a tentative 8/10.

Well this was a real turn up. There I was expecting the most repulsive coffee known to man - sweet, spicy and full of "chicory" - whatever the hell that is. I don't know but it should be in FOOD and not COFFEE that's for sure. However... bigotry aside, this thing 'ain't bad. True we did have it ball-crushingly strong, which maybe masked the chicory shit. But I liked it! What the?!!  Maybe my taste buds are wrecked from that skinful last night - so I demand a recount. This thing must be awful... 7/10.