Morrisons

Kenyan coffee is normally the bee's knees - so we snapped this one off the shelf on a recent trip to Morrisons - which itself seems to have gentrified since the last time this judge was in their aisles way back in the nineties in the dusty back streets of Bradford. Instead of being all pies and Yorkshire Puds it's now all artisan bread, wet misted veg and - well - Kenyan coffee. Bring it on.two packs for a fiver is the deal of the year too. Taste-wise the wasn't quite as good their Ethiopian offering - it just had a slightly metallic twang to it. Probably because we over cooked it - but then we'll never know as we won't be making a weaker version any time soon. Still - it's a great coffee - looks good with a nice head on it. It makes a great paring with the Ethiopian - buy them both. 7/10

This stuff looks simply amazing. We're only using a simple French press to make it yet it comes out, every time, with a thick creamy head as though it had been run through a five grand Gaggia in a carbon-neutral hipster coffee bar in Shoreditch. We've not had that much head since the Judges took a weeks sabbatical to the Reeperbahn. It's so easy to make this one - it comes out the same every time. It's got a slightly fruity twist to it which, when you have the first one, is a real pleasant surprise. But after a few cups this does end up tasting a little bit metallic. Maybe we just over spooned this one - it would probably benefit for being made just a little weaker. But we didn't do that. Its an 8/10

These Morrison Coffees are always hard core killers, and this is no exception. We made this as normal and it was just way over the top. A bitter, filthy dirty brew. This could only be at home on a building site being drunk by hardened, crack-showing navvies who would probably even dunk a biscuit in it. The only way we could take it was to water it down a spoonful - but even then the first taste sends you reeling and staggering backwards. However - if you keep the faith, this one does improve as you go down the cup. I don't know how this works - maybe because your taste buds a being systematically stripped off and by the end, you just don't care. Who knows - but my head now feels a bit fuzzy and I'll rate it above the 5/10 "never buying it a again" watershed. Its a 6/10.

Let's get to the point. It's awful. Which is a shame as the packaging looks good - just the way we like it. But the smell is of ashtrays and the taste is like eating an egg box that's been used as an ashtray. There's no depth of flavour at all either - you really need to spoon it up to even get to the heady heights of an ashtray. Best avoided really - it scores badly - though not as badly as some other ash-tray classics - as at least I could finish the cup. This must be some cheap Robusta beans in here - no mention of Arabica on the packet. Boo. (4/10)