Strength 2

The initial smell of this coffee bodes well - the lemony twang you expect from a Kenyan - and I don't mean a marathon runner. But this is a strength TWO - which as we all know, means weak as hell. There is no such thing as a strength one - the scale starts at two - so this is as weak as it gets. And it's true - this one has all the right hints of quality that you'd look for - but just not enough of them. It's like having a quickie behind the bike sheds - alright but just not satisfying, leaving you wanting more. Your mum would like this one for sure - and I don't mean the quickie. Or maybe she would - who knows - I've not seen her in a while. We're on a trial separation.  6/10

This is a first - the first ever coffee marked up as a strength TWO. And, yes, it's probably the weakest thing that's been near my mouth since the tooth fairy went down with man flu but still managed to struggle out of bed. They claim "aromatic, lingering sweetness" on the packet - well you'd never know. The lingering sweetness turns out to be a sickly sweetness - as all I can really taste in this one is the milk. If you like super-weedy coffee - which some people do - then this is ideal. I don't think you could ever make this too strong. (3/10)