Guatemala

The beans of this coffee are huge and so pale and dusty they look like they've been sitting around since the war. So for the first cup we ramped it straight up to five spoons as it just looked like it needed it, but it still ended up just too weak. So for the second round we spooned up to six spoons - and that's a lot of coffee for just two cups. At that level it delivered - but that's the limit. It was just starting to have the metallic taste you get when you try and push a coffee too far. They do go on about a lemon acidity - but we didn't really get that - its a much more standard coffee flavour than the blurb on the packet suggests. Still - it's a good-un and we wolfed it down in a couple of days. the same problem exists though as for other coffees from these guys: cost. This stuff is currently £5.49 a bag - which is just way too expensive and takes its down a point from a solid 8 to a 7/10.

This says "Light Espresso" on the packet - and they mean it. It also says it's fruity in flavour - but this judge didn't get any of it. Not fresh fruit served in the Guatemala rain forest anyway - maybe a waft of tinned fruit cocktail served in a Little Chef. It's all just a bit too weedy for my liking - though it does have flavour and I can appreciate there's quality here - just not enough of it. Maybe if we spoon it up, big time, it'll get the church bells ringing, but at the standard dosage this is one for your mum. And I mean your mum, not mine, who is as hard as nails. (6/10)

These Morrison Coffees are always hard core killers, and this is no exception. We made this as normal and it was just way over the top. A bitter, filthy dirty brew. This could only be at home on a building site being drunk by hardened, crack-showing navvies who would probably even dunk a biscuit in it. The only way we could take it was to water it down a spoonful - but even then the first taste sends you reeling and staggering backwards. However - if you keep the faith, this one does improve as you go down the cup. I don't know how this works - maybe because your taste buds a being systematically stripped off and by the end, you just don't care. Who knows - but my head now feels a bit fuzzy and I'll rate it above the 5/10 "never buying it a again" watershed. Its a 6/10.

The first thing you notice with this one is the aroma - it's leaping out of the cup to put it's hands around your throat. In the cup it looks velvety and chocolatey - there's no way you can leave this one to get cold. This is a strength 4 buts it's packing a mellow strength 5 - you know it's doing you the right kind of damage but you're blissfully unaware of it as it just slips down. The only minor grumble is the super-fine grind resulting in a final mouthful of mud at the bottom of the cup which leaves you with a slightly tainted parting memory of this one. 8/10

This Kopi coffee we got with the full info sheet - and man do they love their coffees. Read the blurb below if you don't believe me - this is the care they put into describing just one coffee. Our problem with it has been the coarseness of the grind in the pack we bought. It's really grainy which has led to a few under-endowed cups. Once we realised that though and cranked it up a notch, we got more of what we were after. A fine tasting cup and not overly bitter. Still nothing to scream and shout about - particularly for top-of-the-range £7 price tag which has definitely cost it a point. Maybe this one has gone off a bit - it being last months coffee?  (7/10)

Ok I think we may have over done this one trying to bounce back from a hideously weak thing this morning. Bitter indeed, but with a slightly metallic after taste which I’m putting down to the excessively heaped 5 spoons that went into the two cups. We’ll give it  another go but make sure we don’t over egg it next time.