Lavazza

This is our second sampling from the new Lavazza range - and it's the top strength number fiver. As with all Lavazzas, it's based on Robusta beans which makes which in this case are darkly roasted - so this one was never going to be for the feint hearted. They suggest nuts and chocolate on the packet - but let's face it, there's none of that here. This is just a good old fashioned hard hitting coffee for those who like a pick me up so strong it would even get Pete Doherty out of bed before 9am. Strong though it may be - it's not harsh and there's no metallic after taste which is so often the case with the dark, Robusta roasts. We like it, so it's 8/10

It’s been a long while since there’s been a different Lavazza on the shelf – they’ve always stuck with their classic branding over the years which, let’s face it, has always been pretty damn cool. There must have been a shake up over at Lavazza HQ  - a new director trying to make his mark – because on our local Sainsbury’s shelf there’s three new retro styled packets of the stuff. Even their marketing geeks have got in on the action – claiming ‘notes of dried fruits’ – a phrase which the Mr Cool Lavazza himself would probably have choked on. Anyway, here’s our first one - it’s the mid strength one of the three and, as to be expected, there’s no bloody fruit in there. Instead of which there’s a packet of small Italian fists waiting to jump out and punch you in the throat. Which, for sure, they do. This stuff kicks arse like a good Italian should, except when their at home being good to their mummies that is. It’s a super fine espresso grind through – we had to decant slowly from our caffetiere to avoid getting a mouthful of 2-stroke Lambretta tail pipe dust. Strong and grainy like a John Holmes classic - it’s 8/10 from us. 

Another Lavazza not often seen in the UK - this one was picked up in Austria. It's a tiny bit harsh - which we presume is due to the usual Lavazza Robusta bean contents - it doesn't mention anything about arabica on the packet of this one. That said - it still goes down pretty nicely. Lavazza say its a medium coffee for all day long drinking from a big cup - we don't really agree with that, unless it's just the way we make it here. For us it was a pretty potent brew that would probably kill your granny. It's not really sophisticated though - it's just coffee slapping you in the throat. So we like it. 8/10

This is the best Lavazza we've had - and it doesn't seem to be available in the UK. We picked it up in France at the Carrefour while stocking up on cheap Chateaux du Closet. It’s got the Illy style tin which makes a change from the usual Euro brick packaging that normally just ends up all over the floor – although it doesn’t have the nitrogen whoosh as you open it. This is ground super fine - and we mean super fine. If you felt the need you could chop this stuff up on the back of the staff toilet cistern and just snort it down. The fine-ness means you need a bit of care when making it – the spoons will pile the coffee high on them and you’ll end up with a brew that’ll rip you’re tongue out. But treated carefully, this is a great brew. It smells divine – everyone wanted one – and they got one – and loved it. It's a 9/10.

Somehow we'd forgotten to review this - the common or garden Lavazza Rossa - until now. We actually thought we had done it - only when someone emailed us did we realise we'd forgotten it. So here it is. It used to be my standard coffee years back - before I had a prosthetic tongue fitted and started getting into all these fancy coffee flavours. Thinking back it seemed so.... agricultural. But on reflection - it's as good as it always was. Nothing too fancy when made in a caffetiere, but a real glugger none the less. I wish I could run it through a proper espresso machine... I'm sure it would cream it's own pants off, let alone mime. There's only one downside - it's a real fine grind (not unlike the Judge himself) - which means if you over spoon it by half a spoon it'll blow your cotton socks off. 8/10

The package looked good - glitzy, but oozing tasteful Italian style. It also claims "crema" - which we now know is the fine creamy foam that sits on top of your coffee. So I was quite excited about this. BUT - jeez - this stuff is the cheapest tasting muck you we've had in a while. It's no wonder - when you read the back of the pack it says 70% Robusta beans. Now, us judges have now learnt that Robusta = Bollocks, and this coffee is testament to that. You may as well go down your local petrol station, pick up 5Kg of BBQ charcoal and suck on the biggest lump. The only way we could drink this was to weaken it down a spoon and add a bit more sugar. That made it just about drinkable. Just. (4/10)

Lavazza have done the business with this one. It's strong but mellow and that espresso taste lingers in your mouth in a nice way. Not only that, it's easy to make - every cup came out well, no matter how shaky the hand measuring out the spoons. Even the packet exudes quality and continental sophistication. The only downside is minor - the stupid vacuum pack is almost impossible to open without tools, and once it is open, you can't re seal it and you will end up with coffee all over the shop. But hey, I'm not going to knock a point off for that. That's part of its charm. This has to be scored top marks - but is it as good as the Hot Lava Lava?  We'd have to do a side by side taste-off I think. (10/10)

This one has been a real puzzle. First time round it had a creamy taste to it. Like it was crying out to be made stronger. It was also quite sweet tasting - I was definitely thinking that this is a coffee for girls. Then every time we've made it since it just got more bitter - now is this a part of the aging process? Can it change that much, over 2 days, kept in a sealed tin? Or is it some kind of reaction to us emptying the stupid vacuum pack out into the uber-cool Illy tin? Whatever, I needed a tiny bit more sugar to make this to taste for me. In the end though, it's a 7/10 while you're drinking it, but it does have a bitter after taste, which pegs it down to a 6/10.

Lavazza has always been a judge favorite as the quality big brand coffee. This was a French bought cheap version though - well under 2 Euros a pack. The powder is a very light brown - which is always worrying. It's definitely strong but tastes very dry, with the "cheap coffee twang". I can't believe that there is such a thing as a sub-standard Lavazza so we'll re-make it with only four spoons and see what happens. Initial rating 5/10