Sumatra

We were expecting the world from this for some reason. While it's not a bad brew, something was just not right. It doesn't seem fine, yet we ended up with a very powdery cup that had that dry, metallic taste. It smelt divine though - the whole building smelt like a coffee grinding mill. For now, we'll give it the benefit of the doubt and hope the error was in the making!  Judge rating (7/10)

This is a dark and moody one – as soon as you open the pack the heavily roasted smell hits you – it’s black and heavy. You’d be forgiven for thinking you’ve accidently bought a packet of ground carbon. Consequently, we had to put this in the plunger with kid gloves. It felt like one grain too many and we’d be paying for it. But actually it’s not that bad – yes it is a very burnt tasting brew – but it does serve up well and come outs more or less the same whether you make it weak or strong.  So, it’s not one for those who like a mellow or fruity taste – it’s a one trick pony, but it’s not a bad trick. 7/10

The first thing we noticed with this one is the beans are big, dusty and hard as nails. A bit like the mother in law. Arf. By which we mean even though we ground these things to hell and back, there were still chunks floating around in our grinder. Still, we persevered and ground them to dust in the end. This coffee is a nice and light tasting one – it looks  light in the cup too. We did have a tendency to overdo it though just to try and wring a bit more taste out of it. But it didn’t really work – it hits a peak and then it tends to just overload on a metallic aftertaste. Even so, it’s still tasty and does have a bit of a twang – slightly citrus but not overkill.  It’s quirky enough to give to anyone and should raise a smile at your dinner party. 8/10

This is a strength 5 coffee that everyone should try. I didn't even realise it was a five until we'd finished the packet and I saw the label. Yes it has all the good points of a fiver, but none of the bads. In the cup, even from our french press, it looks so appetising - a nice layer of light coloured head which just invites you to slurp it up. And no matter how many times I made it - every cup came out identical. Perfect for the coffee making novice - I defy anyone to cock this one up. All the way down the cup, the strong flavour holds, with no nasty aftertaste. Just that slight creamy feel on your tongue. It somehow feels as comforting as a cup of hot cocoa on a cold winters night. The only thing holding me back from givng this a full 10/10 rating is the lack of any fancy flowery-ness. But then it never claimed to have that - so maybe that's just my problem? Anyway - its a 9/10

This had all the right blurb on the packet - tangerines and zesty for God's sake?! But us experienced judges know that there is no high altitude lime tasting coffee hailing from Sumatra. The first attempt was bitter and gritty - with no hints of the limes. It was also not even that strong which gave it a nasty aftertaste - which was even a bit too sickly creamy tasting initially. On the second attempt we spooned it up and made a strong 'un. The result was more drinkable - but had the horrible metallic aftertaste that you really don't want in your Taste The Difference. Unless the Difference they are talking about is the taste of dirty old copper pipe rescued from your old radiators hanging about behind the shed since you had your heating installed. Whatever - this stuff sucks and needs to be left on the shelf. Though I will finish the cup of it for politeness, I'll never be stupid enough to have it again. (4/10)

This is a real cheapy - it comes from Costco and is a massive 1.3kg bag - and that's the smallest one they do. We had already made up our minds that this one was going to be slightly rough - it's a cheap catering coffee. The beans looked weird, and smelt weird. When it's brewed, the initial smell is of a cheap, dirty coffee. But then up close, the smell is pungent and earthy - it smells like the piss soaked ground by the men's urinal at Glastonbury on day three. If you hold your nose and just swallow, it's actually drinkable (the coffee - not the Glasto piss) - definately the best ever "cheap" coffee we've had. I even finished the whole cup. But it's not something you'd rush to repeat - and that leaves you with 1.299 kg still to get rid of. I'd serve it in a restaurant - but it's no good for home use. 5/10

This is the first coffee of the new year and we've got a real backlog to get through now. This comes as part of a Whittard selection box of nine different coffees. So to pick the first one out it has to be from the top shelf - strength 5. There's only 3 cups in one of the small packs so it's a one-hit review. This is a right little corker for the first day of January - heavyweight and pungent. It does suffer from a slight metallic aftertaste which knocks it down a point - but otherwise a fine healthy punch in the face for the start of the year. 7/10